The best personal ad I ever read quoted the Rupert Holmes song "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)." Misquoted, actually - instead of "If you like making love at midnight on the dunes of the cape," they said, "in the dew suffocate."
Anyway, if you wonder why ol' Rupert didn't make much more of a splash, wonder no more. This guy was about as dynamic as a dirty mop. I'm surprised this audience gets as worked up as it does.