John Cale's got a secret

I've got a bunch of Lou Reed-related clips here on MeTube, but alas, the attention I've paid to Velvet Underground cofounder John Cale has been sadly lacking. Well, no more. (Thanks to Paul in New Jersey for introducing me to this.)

In 1963, four years before VU & Nico was released, Cale appeared on the game show I've Got a Secret. His secret: he was one of five pianists who'd performed a piano piece three lines long 840 times, in a concert that lasted over eighteen hours. After the panel attempted to guess his secret, Cale performed that piece.

It's ten minutes long and, to my mind, pretty fascinating. I hope you agree.

Tor

Tor Johnson was a professional wrestler (stage name: The Super Swedish Angel) and the inspiration for a hugely popular Halloween mask. He's probably best known for his roles in the movies of Ed Wood; here he emotes in the trailer for Bride of the Monster.



Somebody out there had the common decency to post a clip of him on You Bet Your Life, then had the wit to title the clip "You Bet Tor Life." Listen to the crowd react as he walks in. Needless to say, Groucho runs verbal rings around poor Tor.



And now, as the great man once said, "Time for go to bed."

You plug 'em, we plant 'em

Back before Paul Lynde was yukkin' it up on Hollywood Squares (like so)...



...he appeared in a whole bunch of movies and TV shows. Perhaps his best known is his role as the father in Bye Bye Birdie, but I want to give some love to this scene from Send Me No Flowers. It's a 1964 film where Rock Hudson thinks he's going to die, but doesn't want anyone else to know, so he sets about planning everything, including his final resting place. That's where Lynde comes in, as a cemetery director who just loves his job.

Take note of the line that would raise eyebrows once Rock had been outed.

Japan's Got Talent

Here's a damned clever bit of human artwork from a Japanese TV show.



So many things to like about this - the Red Sox jersey, the shadow figure copping a quick feel 38 seconds from the end, backmasked Roy Orbison, to name but a few. I wonder if you can make a good living doing this.

Groucho and Jacko

Jack Benny and Groucho Marx are two of my favorite comedians of all time. They first knew each other from the vaudeville circuit; Groucho (then known as Julius Marx) would get Benny (then known as violinist Benjamin Kublesky) laughing so hard they'd have to hold up the show and wait for him to calm down.

Four decades or so later, they were performing together on TV.



Jack's doing everything he can to win some money, including wearing a disguise that fools absolutely no one. His look of despondence at Groucho's final question is so wonderful - almost as wonderful as Groucho's look of glee as he asks that question. And you'll note that Groucho can still get Jack to break character with almost no effort.

Goodbye, Bob

Pets who don't want to be spayed or neutered are celebrating today as Bob Barker makes his final appearance on The Price Is Right. He's been hosting it almost as long as I've been alive, and it's going to be hard to imagine the landscape without him. Kind of like Queen Elizabeth II, if you think about it.

There are tons of Price is Right clips on YouTube (I've already featured one here), so I thought today I'd show a couple of Family Guy salutes.

You Fool!

I'm old enough that I remember watching episodes of Hollywood Squares, hosted by Peter Marshall and featuring Paul Lynde in the center square. Some damn funny lines, and a host who wasn't afraid to look like an idjit.



But I have to say, the modern day version would go down in history as worth the while if only for this moment.



The contestants were tied at four, and whoever got Gilbert Gottfried's square would win the game. But try as they might, they couldn't get it. And Gilbert let them know they couldn't get it. And it just keeps getting funnier...

I'll bet my life - and I'll win, too

Groucho Marx regularly got the best of the contestants on You Bet Your Life. "You're a model?" he asked one of them once. "What do you model - clay?"

But every now and then one would come along that would throw him for a loop. Like this spinster from Suffield, Connecticut.



Or this guy. His size, voice, mannerisms, and eyes completely unnerve Groucho, which is great, because (Groucho being Groucho) his reaction is to make even more jokes. This clip never stops being funny for me.

Yo mama's a long-handled gardening tool

When Ken Jennings was spending half a year on Jeopardy, winning what eventually came to $3 million, it seemed like he never got a question wrong. Here's a case where he got called wrong, but I think he was absolutely correct.



Does anybody use the correct answer in this context these days?

High, Bob

My friend Zach in DCish suggested here that I link to video from a Jeopardy winner. I like it, Z, but I got one better...



The Price is Right played host to one of the greatest subversive moments in game show history when Evan Gatti made it onto Bidding Row and bid 420. Repeatedly. Who knows if Bob Barker knew the herbal connotations, but the audience clearly did, giving him bigger and bigger cheers - check out the two guys behind Gatti's left shoulder.

If you don't have the patience to sit through the show, the bids happen at :39, 1:54, and 3:14.

By the way, here's a great Bob Barker quote, when Larry King asked him what he looked for in a model, other than the obvious:

"Well, obviously, they have to be very attractive physically. They have to look smashing in a swimsuit. And we would like to have them be bright and able to make a refrigerator come alive for you."

May you all have someone to make a refrigerator come alive for you today.

Say the secret woid and win a hundred dollars.

I'm the sort of person who would rather say funny than do funny. So while I appreciate the visual gags from folks like Chris Farley, Buster Keaton and Harpo Marx, I aspire to the verbal brilliance of Jon Stewart, Woody Allen, and Groucho Marx.

Groucho Marx was my very first favorite comedian. I loved how fast he was with his words, how he could come up with comments in a split second that would never occur to me in a hundred years. The fact that the remarks were scripted dimmed the joy a touch, but then I found out he was just as fast in real life and turned the joy back up again.

Here's a brief clip from "You Bet Your Life," the game show he hosted throughout the '50s. I love the vim with which he delivers the zinger at the end.