All hail John Moschitta Jr.

I went looking for this last night, found it relatively easily, and watched it for the first time in a good two decades. When it was over I had to stifle the urge to applaud.



John Moschitta Jr. was spotted on an episode of That's Incredible! and hired to portray Mr. Spleen (yes, they gave him a name) for Federal Express. He's in the Guinness Book of World Records for talking 586 words per minute.

Watch his eyes; dead and unblinking, they're almost funnier than his speaking. And speaking of speaking, let's have a shout-out for Mr. "Well sir I think on my feet I'm good with figures and I have a sharp mind" at :07-:08.

Indescribably Bad Leroy Brown

What was it about the '70s that produced so very many bad variety hours? Pink Lady & Jeff, The Brady Bunch Hour, Donny and Marie - I even remember watching an episode of the Hudson Brothers' Bonkers!, with special guest Florence Henderson.

Here's Paul Lynde, the best center square occupant Hollywood Squares will ever have, as the title character in "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown."



That whirring sound you hear is Jim Croce spinning violently, counterclockwise, in his grave.

Corky fights the power

Happy birthday to my brother Josh, who's not only a fantastic musician, but an expert mimic of everyone from the Subaru dealer across the river to my uncle Tommy. One of his greatest imitations is of Chris Burke, who played Corky in Life Goes On, so I thought he'd like to see this.

Unfortunately, we don't actually hear Corky in this LGO clip, but if you're familiar with his antics, I'm betting you'll get a big charge out of this.

And now a smoke from our sponsor

Never mind the first 40 seconds of this clip. We're all about the last minute and change.

What we see is Marshall Dillon gunsmokin' away. What we hear is Bill Hicks, lightly edited in order to match up with the mouth movements. And very well at that.

Vincent

I'm of the opinion that Don McLean's song "Vincent," from the American Pie album, is one of the best examples of pop music lyrics as poetry. I'll go so far as to say there are recognized poets who couldn't bring across the pain and beauty that well.

So of course I went looking for clips of it on YouTube, and there were a few. Then I found a clip of Chet Atkins performing it on guitar, and found that to be equally stunning.

What's it going to be, Patrick? Don McLean's version? Or Chet Atkins?

I choose... I choose... Both!

Remember, kids, only dopes use dope

Back in 1974, Geraldo Rivera was filmed smoking pot under medical supervision. Who knows if this was his first time or not, but I don't think the characters in Reefer Madness got affected as fast as he did.



Of course, there's someone out there who gets affected even faster. And believe it or not, it's even funnier when he does.

A Romany term meaning "I awake"

That's the official definiton of Django. It's also the name that Jean Baptiste "Django" Reinhardt was best known by.

Despite being able to work only two fingers on his fret hand, Django is considered one of the best jazz guitarists of all time. Here he is performing "J'Attenndrai"("I Will Wait") with his quintet. Nice work, eh?

“Oh My God, They’re Turkeys!”

I’m off to the boonies for a few days, meaning no entries until Thanksgiving’s over. So I’ll leave you with the ending of the great WKRP in Cincinnati episode, “Turkeys Away,” which among other things is famous for having one of the greatest last lines in sitcom history.



Happy turkey to all, and to all a good night.

Matt Leblanc Sells Out *snort*

This commercial was so pervasive in the '80s that when I read that our favorite dumb Friend was in a ketchup commercial, I didn't even have to think to remember it. Note Jon Astley's "Jane's Getting Serious" in the background.



Incidentally, if you're wondering what exactly a sellout is, here's Mick Jones of the Clash to explain it all for you. (The embedding has been disabled, so you'll have to click here.)

My all time favorite movie trailer

The documentary Comedian, starring Jerry Seinfeld going back to his standup roots, had a trailer with absolutely no footage from the movie. It starred Hal Douglas, best known as the "In a World Guy" because he said that in so many trailers, recording a voiceover for the Comedian trailer. Things break down quite quickly.

Funnnnn-KY!

Bobby Byrd: "What you gonna play now?"
James Brown: "Bobby... I don't know. But whatever I play, it's got to be funky."
-- James Brown, "Make It Funky"

Bobby

Today there's a movie getting a limited release, going wide later next week, called Bobby. It's an Altmanesque film about a number of characters around the Ambassador Hotel on the night Robert Kennedy was shot. He's one of my heroes - I chose my confirmation name, Francis, in part because that was his middle name. Were he alive, he would be turning 81 on Monday - 12 years younger than Gerald Ford.

Two months before he died, Kennedy spoke in Indianapolis. Upon his arrival, he learned that Martin Luther King had been killed, and many told him it was too dangerous for him to make his planned appearance in the heart of the ghetto. He went ahead, leaving his police escort behind, and broke the news to the crowd.



Just try and imagine Bush quoting Aeschylus off the cuff like that.

At 3:50 they show some still photos and play an audio of his own shooting. Me, I turn the clip off before that point. You're welcome to do so, too.

Hey hey hey, vote for Pedro today

One more from the creator of "You'll Come One Day" and "This Place Sucks." This time, he combines audio from Napoleon Dynamite with images from Fat Albert.



I think this is actually the weakest of the three, as it's nothing much beyond talking heads. That said, Fat Albert's expression at 2:19 is lovely.

Battle of the PBS Stars

Longtime readers will remember my earlier posting of Mister Rogers testifying before Congress. Here he is doing something a bit less, um, dignified, courtesy of SCTV.



I actually saw this when I was a kid. My sisters & I watched my dad changing the channels, and he landed on PBS just as they were showing this. We kids absolutely lost it, especially at the moment that occurs here at 2:12. A quarter century or so's gone by, and it's still a riot to me.

Just a couple of dummies

Ventriolquism's the name of the game today, gang. First, here's a TV ad for the film Magic, starring Anthony Hopkins, based on the book by William Goldman.



Sorry to unsettle you like that. One of the fascinating things about this shows up in the YouTube comments section: it seems dozens, if not thousands, of impressionable kids saw this ad and had nightmares, enough so that the ad got pulled on account of the number of complaints.

Now, to lighten the mood considerably, here are Chuck and Bob from the old TV show Soap.



Jay Johnson not only doesn't move his lips, he creates a genuine character. Where is he now? He's currently on Broadway doing a one-man-many-dummies show. Go, Jay!

CLOWNS!! AUUGGHHH!!

I probably should have posted this a couple weeks ago, during my runup to Halloween, on account of the number of people out there who are terrified of these sartorially challenged, frozen expressioned, highly unfunny folk. The only reason I didn't was, I forgot. Anyway, here they are being instructed on how to invade a retirement home.



Check out the clown at 1:48 crossing Emmett Kelly makeup with Flavor Flav styling. And as far as I'm concerned, the old man's expression at 2:09 is right on the money.

What the movies mean to us

There was a time when I would see at least two movies a week. Not always at the theatre, of course (though there were weeks when that was the case), but you could count on me to make the most of every opportunity.

Nowadays I seem to have neither the time nor the money, nor the burning inclination. Half Nelson came and went, as did The Illusionist, without me ever getting past, "Geez, I should see that." I'm not a member at any local video stores, and I'm not signed up for Netflix. Believe me, when you find yourself thinking, "Hey, I could use that $5.99 a month," you're in no shape to spend money on two hours of just sitting there.

So it's nice to watch this reminder of how great movies are, not just for entertainment, but for the psyche.



This was first shown the start of the 2002 Oscar broadcast. Errol Morris, the director, interviewed a combination of famous and unknown. I was especially happy to see Iggy Pop (at 1:46), Tom Brady (2:04), Lou Reed (2:59), and what may or may not be Tim Curry (3:37). But just look at the evident joy in people's eyes and voices as they talk about their favorites. It means something, doesn't it? And it's nice to think about that on a Sunday morning like this.

Jodie Foster Sells Out *snort*

Man: "Would you rather write the Great American Novel or sleep with Jodie Foster?"
Crowd of men & women: "SLEEP WITH JODIE!"

--Some cartoon I once read

Those Japanese ads have been pretty damn good to me lately. Here she is, two-time Oscar winning muse of would-be assassins everywhere, pushing cosmetics and looking lovely doing it.



This wasn't her first ad, of course. A quarter century earlier, she did some fine work for Small Shots.

A Little Bike Music

Recognize the guy on the left?



Twenty-two year old Frank Zappa, sans facial hair, appeared on The Steve Allen Show in 1963, claiming he could play the bicycle. I think he just used that as a hook to get himself on TV, then work his real musical havoc/magic, but hey, whatever works.



What surprises me about these clips is how much Steve Allen gets into it. Here's a guy who gave dramatic readings of "Be-Bop-a-Lula" and made Elvis sing "Hound Dog" to a bassett on a stool, and here he is really enjoying himself and the "music." My respect for the man just went up a couple notches.

It actually rhymes with "vogue"

The Moog synthesizer has a rich history in music. Who among hasn't sung the "ooo-EEE-ooo-EEE" part of Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Lucky Man" in the privacy of our cars?

From Bach (thank you, Wendy Carlos) to the Beatles (Abbey Road's crawlin' with it), the synth became so key (pun) so fast that it's amazing they didn't use it in a beer commercial.

Oh, wait...