The Likin' King

Last year I tried to devote a week of MeTube to Valentine's Day and found myself getting tired enough of it that the last clip was the one from Jackass Two when the guys are reading a valentine and wind up with a boxing glove to the head.

But the irrepressible hopeless/hopeful romantic in me can't be denied one more chance to celebrate it.

I'll do it with this video, which someone put together using parts of The Lion King and the XTC song "I'd Like That."

The Disney Vault

I was in Best Buy today and saw a bunch of videos under a threatening sign. "These movies will be going into the Disney Vault after January 31," it said.

Disney claims that by keeping these movies from being perenially available, it keeps the market under control and keeps things fresh for kids. The fact that it makes them big collector's items is just a happy accident. Yeah surrrrre.

Robert Smigel, creator of SNL's "TV's Funhouse," had a bull's-eye take on this. Not only does it mock the whole vault process, it also mocks the horrid sequels to classic movies. In this case, that would be Bambi.

How Snow White became a woman

Did you know that shortly after World War Two, the good folks at Disney studios made a cartoon explaining menstruation?



And remember, try not to catch a cold or you'll throw everything off.

Short Attention Span Theatre 5

Hey kids, it's that time again! You have the inclination but not the time to watch all these MeTube clips, and believe me, I feel your pain. So here are a whole bunch of them adding up to one minute, give or take.

I give you animated clips that look nothing like Sam Elliott...



...or Owen Wilson.



I give you an old woman throwing a solid punch.



I give you the Little Mermaid's bare hinder.



I give you a six-fingered woman. I think.



And I give you three clips from Kentucky Fried Movie.



You may have to hit "refresh" to see them all in one go. Just make sure you don't miss out on the last one...

Ariel gets nas-tayyyyyy

This isn't safe for work, but what do you care? It's Saturday!

It's the Little Mermaid as you've never heard her before, channeling her inner Yoni Mitchell as she sings of her wish to have a little enchantment under the waistline.

Everything is satisfactual

An awful lot has been written about the Disney movie Song of the South; Wikipedia has a very thorough take on it here. Since I've never seen it, I can only offer you this warm clip of its Oscar winning song and get out of the way.



NOTE: I was unable to resist reading the spoilers for what happens in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I wish now that I hadn't. I strongly urge you not to seek out the answers. The Internet giveth, but the Internet taketh away.

Disney Plus Avenue Q Equals Hijinx Aplenty

Here's another golden mashup, combining the song "The Internet Is For Porn" from the musical Avenue Q with some very well chosen clips from various Disney cartoons.



Incidentally, a big hello to all you folks who found this page by Googling "Disney" and "porn." Look around! It's fun!

Naughty Disney

There have been a few moments in Disney movies where someone's managed to sneak in a moment that could be interpreted in a, shall we say, non-rated G fashion. Disney's policy is to explain it away as something else and chide the public for their overactive imagination.

For instance, they claimed here that Aladdin was simply saying, "Scat, good tiger, take off and go."



And for this Little Mermaid moment, they insisted that that's the priest's knee we're looking at.



But when this moment from The Rescuers was made public, they had to (1) admit there's really no other interpretation, and (2) scrub the frames from future releases. Notice the duck in the bottom right corner of the window.