MeTube

The Last Post

2008-04-11T02:50:00.006-04:00

Wow. The end. I'll never post here again. (But I will try and keep the clips as current as I can.)

Before I post the clip, I'd like to thank a few people.

First, I'd like to thank the people who knew me before MeTube was a twinkle in my eye, who came by on a regular basis. That means you, Jim & Steph in Maine, Zach and Heather in DCish, Mike Daisey in NYC, Paul in NJ, and John in LA.

Next, I'd like to thank those who met me through MeTube. It's nice discovering all those out there who have a similar way of thinking. So thanks to Millie Wink (who still kept watching even after the offensive stuff), Sam L., The Great White Dope (who made me understand how important it was to credit your sources), and Deputy Dog (who doubled my traffic when he recommended me on his web site).

Most especially, I'd like to thank Jason Soto. He said to me (I'm paraphrasing through Elvis in "Suspicious Minds"), "Let's don't let a good thing die." So he'll be taking over the MeTube mantle. I give you MeTube: The Next Generation. Jason has my confidence, and I look forward to seeing what he'll do.

UPDATE: I have gone on to start another blog, similar to MeTube, except it's geared toward pop culture that touches on Maine, however tangentially. If you're interested, check it out here.

Now, let's go on to the final clip.

I weighed a lot of options for this. I would like to post the last scene in WKRP, to mirror my posting a scene from the pilot on my first post, but this is one of those shows that keeps getting pulled from YouTube, so forget that.

I thought of posting other sitcom final scenes (Newhart, Cheers, M*A*S*H), but that's speaking more for them and not for me.

I already posted the Saw Doctors' "I'll Be On My Way" back in January. (What an awesome song that is.)

But to be honest, there was one clip I've had in mind for months, and nothing could have possibly proved itself better. It's the final moments of Dr. Strangelove, where Vera Lynn sings "We'll Meet Again."

Take care, God bless, and I truly do look forward to some sunny day.

The Last Guest

2008-04-10T00:01:00.004-04:00

Johnny Carson's final Tonight Show was just a bunch of clips and him saying goodbye to Ed, Doc & America. It was the episode before, the last one with guests, that meant something. Robin Williams was one of the guests, but the other, the one the night belonged to, was Bette Midler. She performed a parody of "You Made Me Love You," and later she closed the night with a beautiful rendition of "One For My Baby (and One More For The Road)." She later won an Emmy for Outstanding Performance in a Variety Program for this.

For pianist Marc Shaiman's memories of that night, click here.

The Last Laugh

2008-04-09T00:04:00.005-04:00

Before I knew Statler and Waldorf were hotels, I knew them as the two old codgers on The Muppet Show. As a kid I loved them for their "Ahhhh-ha-ha-ha-ha" laughs; when I got older, I loved them for their smart aleck heckling. Never was it greater than when they tore Milton Berle a new one.

Anyway, you'll remember that every show came to a close with one final zinger from the two of them. Here's five and a half minutes of them.

The Last Lecture

2008-04-08T00:02:00.003-04:00

There's a book coming out today from Randy Pausch called The Last Lecture. It's a tradition at some colleges and universities to have professors give a lecture and imagine it to be their last. In Pausch's case, when he was asked to do so, that wasn't such a hypothetical - he'd just been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

The resultant talk has become semilegendary. YouTube has a 75-minute version here, but Oprah used her Oprah powers and got him to squash it down to ten minutes. The points, and they're powerful, wonderful points, come across just fine.

Please don't skip this just because it's an extended clip. Take the time. You'll not be sorry.

MeTube Extra: I knew this was going to happen

2008-04-07T11:38:00.006-04:00

No sooner do I announce my impending departure than I find a bunch of videos that I simply can't keep to myself.

First, here's one I've been hoping to find for a long time. Woody Allen, early in his career, did some work for Allen Funt's Candid Camera program. Here he dictates a love letter to an unsuspecting secretary.

One more Sesame Street bit I (L is for) love, love, love.

And then there's Steve Riks. He's a UK comedian got hundreds of clips on YouTube where he does impressions of various musicians. His McCartney and Freddy Mercury are pretty awesome, but here I'd like to just focus on his Lennon...

...and his Bowie.

Like I said, his Lennon and his Bowie.

Clinton's final days

2008-04-07T00:07:00.003-04:00

When President Clinton was coming to the end of his time in the White House, he made this short film, which was shown at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Believe it or not, there were some people who griped about this, saying the leader of the free world shouldn't be spending his workdays filming comedy. I think some people are paid not to have a sense of humor.

Fun fact: Clinton ad-libbed the part where he watches the clothes go round.

The Best of MeTube 2

2008-04-06T00:02:00.012-04:00

Last year I posted my favorite clips from the previous twelve months. I'm not going to make it to the two year mark, but I still came up with ten favorites since that posting.

Actually, I came up with more, but some links are no longer live, while others are in constant danger of coming down. So these are my top ten favorites that I hope will stay on YouTube for a long time to come. (The future will show us how ridiculous that last sentence turns out to be.)

10. The top 10 WTF moments in Mystery Science Theater 3000.

9. One of the "Two Girls, One Cup" reactions.

8. The incredibly filthy Ed McMahon.

7. "Thriller" a cappella.

6. The Police via A Charlie Brown Christmas.

5. The Saul Bass Star Wars credits.

4. Fenway Park sings the National Anthem.

3. "The Laws Have Changed" video by the New Pornographers.

2. The final scene from My So-Called Life.

1. Perry Como - Still Alive.

Bubbling under: Woody Allen in Play It Again, Sam...

and "When Your Mind's Made Up" from Once.

Cheating? Hell yeah! Whattaya gonna do, fire me?

I drop a bomb on you

2008-04-05T00:16:00.004-04:00

This is the final week I'll be running MeTube. My last entry will be on Friday, April 11.

I'm going to move up to Maine and live in an Airstream trailer and write a novel. I'll be living off the grid - no phone, no electricity, and no Internet. I'll drive into town once a week or so to check emails and such, but the days of carousing among the clips are coming to a close.

Also, to be honest, not having the means to surf the nets will provide me with some much needed discipline. If I learned one thing from my unexpected forced withdrawl last month, it's that I can get a lot done when I can focus.

So any more dubbed clips of FDR swearing...

...or X-rated trailers created by the makers of Scooby-Doo...

...or oddly compelling clips my friends send me (thanks once again to Paul in NJ)...

...or even clips of people licking their own elbows (you'd be amazed how many there are)...

...will have to come to you from somewhere else.

I've got a great bunch of final clips lined up for this week, so let's go out with a bang. Thank you all so much for stopping by, and now, let the wild rumpus start!

Sesame Street favorites

2008-04-04T00:08:00.005-04:00

You know, I've posted a veritable ton of clips from Sesame Street on this blog, and they're all pretty darn great. But, as Johnny Depp says in Chocolat, not my favorite.

Herewith my top five all time Sesame Street clips.

Number 5: Ernie and Bert play "What Happened Here?"

Number 4: E & B again, this time going over why there's a cookie on the table. I've been known to say, "Why is that, I ask foolishly." No one's ever spotted the source before, though.

Number 3: I'm a dog, I'm a workin' dog, I'm a hardworkin' dog. How can you not love that guitar?

Number 2: The Great Cookie Thief. Cookie Monster's shrug at 1:29 is a thing of beauty.

And far and away number 1: Cowboy X. Yiiiiippeeeeeee!

Tomorrow: a very important announcement...

The blind leading the blind

2008-04-03T00:01:00.006-04:00

Happy birthday to my mom up in Maine! To celebrate, I'm dedicating these clips to her.

First we have the final scene in the 1970 TV movie Jane Eyre, where Jane (Susannah York) reunites with a blinded Mr. Rochester (George C. Scott). That megaromantic score is by John Williams.

Now Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. Mom loves this scene; she would have me cue it up on the videotape on such a regular basis that I can still recite 90 percent of the dialogue from memory.

Lots of great character actors in this, led by the very young Philip Seymour Hoffman, hiding in Big Daddy's pocket.

Since that clip is ten minutes long, here's something much shorter - every "Hoo-ah!" in the movie.

Th-th-th-th-that's awesome, folks

2008-04-02T00:17:00.003-04:00

One of the features of YouTube that I'm quite fond of is their "Related Videos" column. The "If you liked this, try this" approach has landed me a lot of great finds that I likely would never have come across otherwise. This was especially true for tonight's entry.

Here a number of great Looney Tunes moments are set to "Dancing in the Dark" by Bruce Springsteen. The too-perfect visual for "I check my look in the mirror" made me laugh out loud.

But here's the thing - great as this is, I only found it because it was in the "Related Videos" file. It was connected to this piece of genius - a pairing of What's Opera, Doc? with "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Considering these are the two greatest opera spoofs of the 20th century (sorry, Marx Brothers fans), I'm amazed nobody thought of combining these before.

Coming soon to DVD

2008-04-01T00:21:00.002-04:00

Happy April Fool's Day (shoe's untied! Bwahaha!), everyone. Today I'd like to take a look at a few of the DVDs that are being released this month. Anything to get the hype rolling.

Juno is due out soon, as is There Will Be Blood, but I don't think those guys need the hype. So I'll throw my inconsiderable weight behind these four - Walk Hard, a faux-Johnny Cash story, due out on the 8th...

...Lars and the Real Girl, about a man and his artificial gal pal, coming out on the 15th...

...and two, count 'em, two movies with the fan-tan-tastic Philip Seymour Hoffman - Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (4/15)...

...and The Savages, the week after that.

Beer - it's what's for dinner

2008-03-31T00:29:00.003-04:00

I'll confess to being a little dry tonight in the idea department, but even so it wasn't too hard to track down something good. Namely, vintage animated beer commercials.

Here's a Claymation one for Ballantine beer.

This one has bears having a pie fight for God knows what reason.

Best of all, here are Bob and Ray doing one of their Bert & Harry Piel ads for Piels beer. This was a campaign that actually put Piels out of business - so many loved the ads that they tried the beer, and unfortunately the beer was pretty lousy.

Bonus! If it's modern funny beer ads you want, here are the folks at Red Stripe (who make the best beer ads in the world hands down) topping themselves with an infomercial.

The Big O

2008-03-30T00:05:00.003-04:00

My college roommate once said about Roy Orbison, "His eyes were too close together and he sounded like a wounded deer."

Let's just say we differed. On the part about the wounded deer, anyway. Here's a rare clip of him lip-synching "Only the Lonely," shadeless and looking pretty uncomfortable.

Here he is in better form, doing "It's Over."

A quarter century after he recorded "Crying," his voice was no less amazing when he performed it; this is from the famous Black & White Night concert.

And call me silly, but I got a big kick out of this video for "In Dreams" performed by sock puppets.

Joe Raposo, genius

2008-03-29T00:20:00.005-04:00

Joe Raposo's best known for his work with Sesame Street, having composed "Sing (Sing a Song)" and "Bein' Green." He's done some other pretty great stuff, too (including the Three's Company theme and four songs on Ol' Blue Eyes is Back; the record company talked Sinatra out of recording an entire album of Raposo songs).

But you all know me; I've got to focus on the kiddie stuff.

A couple of big favorites of mine are "Take a Bweaf" and "There's a Bird On Me."

He performed the vocals for more than a few of the Sesame Street songs, in a really nice tenor voice; this is him singing "Trying and Trying Again" and "Somebody Come and Play."

And here's the man himself acting out a battle with the letters "UN." I'd say his gift for physical comedy is on a par with that of his songwriting.

John Cale's got a secret

2008-03-28T00:05:00.002-04:00

I've got a bunch of Lou Reed-related clips here on MeTube, but alas, the attention I've paid to Velvet Underground cofounder John Cale has been sadly lacking. Well, no more. (Thanks to Paul in New Jersey for introducing me to this.)

In 1963, four years before VU & Nico was released, Cale appeared on the game show I've Got a Secret. His secret: he was one of five pianists who'd performed a piano piece three lines long 840 times, in a concert that lasted over eighteen hours. After the panel attempted to guess his secret, Cale performed that piece.

It's ten minutes long and, to my mind, pretty fascinating. I hope you agree.

Loud and long and clear

2008-03-27T00:34:00.000-04:00

Don't you love a good contagious laugh? I like to think I've got one myself. I remember once in college, I was having lunch in the cafeteria and started laughing at something, and two girls got up and moved to another table. That's how contagious I was.

Anyway, here are a couple of great ones. Dustin Hoffman and a reporter explore the word "cut."

And a religious TV show host nonverbally expresses his opinion of a singing caller.

Fatthew Sweet

2008-03-26T00:12:00.004-04:00

I have about ten Matthew Sweet albums, and his 1991 masterpiece Girlfriend holds a permanent place in my top 15. Saw him live once, and I was surprised at how solidly he was built. Like a linebacker, I remember thinking.

But Matthew, come on, what happened to you? To quote Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, David Crosby thinks you've let yourself go.

I mean, here he is making his television debut on Letterman, playing a storming "Girlfriend," with the late Robert Quine playing one hell of a lead guitar.

Now here he is 16ish years later, duetting with once and future Bangle Susanna Hoffs on a cover of the Beatles' "Rain."

Seriously, I see him in this and I worry for his health. The music's still pretty great and Hoffs looks glorious, but I just keep looking at Matthew and wincing. I hope he's not ruined or anything...

For all you artists and tradespeople

2008-03-25T00:14:00.002-04:00

At last, I'm back in Holyoke, home of high speed internet, and I can make high-class updates to the blog. Better yet, I can check my email for ideas.

This one comes to me from my friend Allison in Nashville. It's a Canadian couple named Fred and Sharon Spencer, advertising their video company, and it has to be seen to be disbelieved.

Erin Still Go Bragh

2008-03-24T07:49:00.001-04:00

This is the post I would have made last week, on St. Patrick's Day. (For more St. Patty's fun, click here.)

I have here a couple of songs performed by the Irish for your enjoyment. First we have the chalk 'n' cheese pairing of Sinead O'Connor and Shane McGowan doing "Haunted."

And now, my favorite song from the movie The Commitments, "Dark End of the Street." Most unbelievable fact of all time: Andrew Strong was 16 years old when he sang this. Keep an eye out for the guitarist - that's Glen Hansard, the star of Once.

Finally, a joke:

Q. What did St. Patrick say while he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?
A. (mime holding a steering wheel, look over left shoulder) "Ye alroight beck there, lads?"

He is risen!

2008-03-23T08:13:00.001-04:00

Happy Easter, all a y'all - let's celebrate with a little three-part harmony.

These are the Roches - sisters Maggie, Terre, and Suzzy - performing the Hallelujah Chorus. Just try not to be uplifted.

No mass communication

2008-03-22T17:04:00.002-04:00

Well, it turned out that the house I was caring for had some cable issues, which meant no internet for me for two weeks. Not knowing what emails were waiting for me was torture, but not near as much as being away from MeTube and its faithful readers (that's you).

Well, I'm back, but in a somewhat limited capacity. I'm typing this from a dialup connection that takes forever and won't let me see the clips (or, for that matter, my emails). Fortunately, I take good notes, so I know just what I want to post.

And today, I want to post what I would have posted yesterday, Good Friday (I didn't eat my last two slices of BBQ chicken pizza in observation). Namely, the 1973 movie version of "Jesus Christ Superstar."

I recommend going to YouTube and checking out the Japanese stage version. I'd link to it, but this relic of a computer won't let me. I wouldn't be surprised if this only runs on direct current...

Anyway, enjoy, look for another post tomorrow, and by gum it's good to be back.

I'd love a bite of your sandwich

2008-03-08T00:23:00.004-05:00

I'm going to spend many of the next 24 hours driving up to Mount Desert Island, where I'll be housesitting for the next two weeks. I'm told the house is all wired up for the Internet, so I'm bringing the computer with me in order to keep MeTube going. But just in case I can't do a timely update, I'm putting a longish one up here today.

This is an episode of Fishing With John, a very, very deadpan look at fishing in various spots around the world with actor/musician John Lurie and a different guest star every show. Unlike most of these sorts of shows, we get a lot of the dead-air moments. I suspect the show prefers these times to the times they actually catch something.

This show's guest is Tom Waits, so you know we're talking classic. It's a half hour long, in three parts.

Tor

2008-03-07T00:24:00.005-05:00

Tor Johnson was a professional wrestler (stage name: The Super Swedish Angel) and the inspiration for a hugely popular Halloween mask. He's probably best known for his roles in the movies of Ed Wood; here he emotes in the trailer for Bride of the Monster.

Somebody out there had the common decency to post a clip of him on You Bet Your Life, then had the wit to title the clip "You Bet Tor Life." Listen to the crowd react as he walks in. Needless to say, Groucho runs verbal rings around poor Tor.

And now, as the great man once said, "Time for go to bed."

The Other Elvis

2008-03-06T00:06:00.002-05:00

He looks like Buddy Holly after drinking a can of STP oil treatment. - Dave Marsh

The reason why most rock critics love Elvis Costello is that most rock critics look like Elvis Costello. - David Lee Roth

My ultimate vocation in life is to be an irritant, someone who disrupts the daily drag of life just enough to leave the victim thinking there's maybe more to it all than the mere hum-drum quality of existence. - Elvis Costello

The former Declan Patrick McManus is one of the great rock lyricists, in the sense that his lyrics are crammed with wit and wordplay. I mean, look at the chorus from "New Amsterdam":

New Amsterdam it's become much too much
Till I have the possession of everything she touches
Till I step on the brakes to get out of her clutches
Till I speak double dutch to a real double duchess

Top that, Paul McCartney.

My personal favorites of his are, in chronological order, "Pump It Up," which in this video inspires him to dance like he's got two left feet, both of them clubs.

"Love For Tender," which has the best slam-to-a-close ending in his catalog (though this video mutes it just a touch).

"Almost Blue" didn't have a performance video on YouTube, but I don't think anyone will mind looking at pictures of Audrey Hepburn for a few minutes while it plays.

And that's just for openers

2008-03-05T00:04:00.004-05:00

Saul Bass (1920-1996) was a graphic designer who created some of the most famous opening credit sequences in movie history. Probably his best known was Psycho.

I loved this one, for Walk on the Wild Side; how is it possible for a cat to take direction this well?

Anatomy of a Murder and The Man with the Golden Arm shared a similar look; jazz score and abstract cutouts.

Which leads to the raison d'etre for this entry - someone posted a reimagination of Star Wars's opening if Bass had been at the controls.

Amazingly, some commenters are griping about this - misspellings, too-fast music, what's with Max Rebo? Come on, people, just sit back and enjoy the brilliance.

PS - Thanks to Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule for the tip.

Cussin' cartoons

2008-03-04T00:45:00.002-05:00

"Not For Air" is a segment on the Adult Swim part of the Cartoon Network, where bleeps are not-so-randomly assigned to make it look like the cartoons are swearing a blue streak. Here are a few of them - the Batman & Robin one is far and away the best.

Which isn't to say that cartoons aren't known to swear every now and then...

Bork bork bork!

2008-03-03T00:12:00.002-05:00

There are enough Swedish Chef clips on YouTube to make up a full course meal. Let's start with the turtle soup...

Then on to the spaghetti...

...and meatballs...

(but go easy on the hot sauce)...

And for dessert - donuts!

Street Hassling

2008-03-02T00:23:00.003-05:00

Lou Reed, birthday boy, is now 66. I've backed off a touch on my days of worship, but he's still a key figure in my life.

This is "Street Hassle," as performed by him and his band in 1980. The studio version has cellos and some spoken words from Bruce Springsteen (read Rolling Stone's take on it here); this version doesn't, but it still has one of the greatest arrangements any two-chord rock 'n' roll song could ask for, along with some of the most wrenching writing of Lou's career.

It's eleven minutes long, set up in three movements. Here's part 1:

And, after a mean pinball and an introduction to the band, here are parts 2 and 3.

The greatest of E's

2008-03-01T00:21:00.003-05:00

What is it about this, the most common of letters, that brought out some of my favorite animation on Sesame Street?

There's this lovely work, with a sitar and an undeniably druggy feel.

There's the one with the saw and a guy who I think inspired Shane McGowan to go toothless.

One that falls apart on the lead character in a somewhat bizarre and thoroughly unexpected fashion.

One that just might cause nightmares, if you're on the sensitive side.

And one so random I defy you to watch it without laughing.

The Science of Rapping, and Vice Versa

2008-02-29T00:10:00.004-05:00

One more rap post for the road.

One of the other artists John introduced me to was MC Hawking. Using a text-to-speech program, his raps are basically gangsta physics. Nerdcore, they call it on Wikipedia.

From his greatest hits album, A Brief History of Rhyme, here's "Entropy," which explains the measure of uniformity of the distribution of energy in a way even I can almost understand, sampling Naughty by Nature in the process. It even edits out the bad language, so feel free to show it to the kids.

By the way, for the record, Stephen Hawking is a fan.

Steely samples

2008-02-28T00:22:00.007-05:00

I'll confess to not being well versed in rap. I have nothing against it, and have liked a lot of what I've heard - it's just not my particular bag, so I don't hear a lot of it. In fact, about the only exposure I get comes from mixes from my friend John in LA.

This year, he sent me a mix that included Kanye West's song "Champion." This was the first time I heard it, and I think John put it on in part because he knows I'm a Steely Dan fan, and this is based around a sample from their song "Kid Charlemagne."

Before this, the only Dan sample I knew of was in De La Soul's "Eye Know," which along with a loop or two from "Peg" also has Otis Redding and the Mad Lads featured therein.

But it turns out they've been sampled a lot. A little research revealed two samples from "Black Cow," off Aja. One was in Tatyana Ali's "Daydreamin'"...

The other: Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz, in "Deja Vu."

Unfortunately, Tariq and Gunz didn't clear the sample before release, so they wound up being sued and having to pay the Dan around a hundred thousand dollars. But judging by this clip, I don't think Becker and Fagen had any hard feelings.

You're the man now, Vader!

2008-02-27T00:11:00.002-05:00

On the off chance you're not already familiar with it, www.ytmnd.com is a webpage where people create (usually brief) content - a series of photos, say, or a film or music loop - out of previously created art. I'm making it sound a bit highfalutin - it makes fun of pop culture and much in it.

They've got a channel on YouTube featuring some of their greatest hits, several of which I've posted here. Today I thought I'd focus on a few of their Darth Vader bits.

Here he's a magician. Look at and listen to Luke in the crowd.

Pat Sajak is wowed by his Wheel of Fortune playing ability.

And then there's the roller coaster.

Finally, he orders his Chia Pet to do its thing. Make sure and watch it all the way to the end.

Those thrilling days of yesteryear

2008-02-26T00:14:00.006-05:00

Dan Rather once said, "An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger." I guess I'm no intellectual snob. Really, did a piece of classical music ever become so tightly entwined with any other fictional character?

Clayton Moore, who played the Lone Ranger, is unique among TV stars in his desire to be as much like his character in real life as he was onscreen, living by the Lone Ranger creed and rarely appearing in public without a mask. Even when doing this ad for Cheerios (and where can you find a cereal these days that will send you a gun for a couple boxtops and four bits?), he talked only of gun safety, nothing about those tasty whole grain oats.

Finally, here's a fantastic story actor/radio personality Jay Thomas told on Letterman about his encounter with that masked man early in Thomas's career.

Spot the Oscar nominee

2008-02-25T00:05:00.004-05:00

Well, the Oscars are over and done and were quite rewarding (no pun intended). I thought I'd share an early appearance by one of the nominees in earlier years.

This is a little puff piece on Ernie Anderson, who was the voice for ABC for years - my guess is you'll recognize that voice the moment you hear it.

That kid playing basketball with him about 3:20 in? That's Paul Thomas Anderson, who was a double nominee last night (losing to those ear-tuggin' Coen brothers both times).

Is it me or does it seem like Ernie's wife, who dwells on his inability to discipline and the joy she gets from shutting him off, has a few issues she can't quite keep under wraps?

And a few of the nominees are...

2008-02-24T00:08:00.004-05:00

Tonight's Oscar night, and while I'm not as intensely into it as I used to be (see all the nominees, watch Barbara Walters beforehand), it's still something I get into. I'll be looking forward to see who wins - excuse me, who the Oscar is awarded to - this year, as it's one of the strongest collections of nominees in years.

Just a few of the great performances here: Philip Seymour Hoffman going ballistic in Charlie Wilson's War...

Javier Bardem chillingly making a man choose heads or tails in No Country For Old Men...

And George Clooney facing off with Tilda Swinton in Michael Clayton.

Mick Jagger in "The Nightingale"

2008-02-23T00:18:00.005-05:00

We had an awful lot of snow in my neck of the woods - couldn't even make it all the way into the driveway. I'm guessing some of you are going to be kind of stuck indoors yourself this weekend, so I thought I'd put up a long one here.

This is Faerie Tale Theatre, a children's show created, produced, and hosted by Shelley Duvall from 1982 to 1987. It retold old tales for kids, with a sly wit for the adults ("it's hard to stay anonymous when your face is on all the money"), and some real talent at work - would you believe both Francis Ford Coppola and Tim Burton directed episodes?

In this episode, Mick Jagger plays Asian royalty. I think I'll stop the description there. (Except to say, keep an eye out for a bewigged Bud Cort of Harold and Maude fame.)

It's seven parts long and goes on for almost an hour, so sit back, relax, and please don't throw any popcorn at the ushers.

And there's a law in New York State

2008-02-22T00:20:00.003-05:00

This is my all-time favorite stand-up comedy routine, one which I can perform at the drop of a drunken hat. It's Woody Allen's "The Moose," performed here as I first heard it, on the album Standup Comic. The jokes, the pacing, the buildup - it's a masterpiece.

Now this is him doing the same routine in England in 1965, the same year as the above performance.

It's interesting - to me, at least - to hear the slight differences in emphasis, pacing, word choices. It seems more deliberate - I don't know if it's because of the different venue, different country or what. I'm so conditioned to the first one that I can't help but prefer it, but I wonder if an unbiased listener might get more of a kick from the latter. Your thoughts?

Ronald McDonald over the years

2008-02-21T00:10:00.002-05:00

When McDonald's first brought in a clown to promote their vittles, he looked nothing whatsoever like he would later.

Here he is in his more traditional form, doing battle with Grimace, who was once evil and had four arms, if you can believe that. (Note the young Jodie Foster.)

Grimace later became a lovably dopey good guy. Here's one from my younger days, when he lost his voice. The doctor part of this still makes me laugh.

This may be my favorite of the ads, as Ronald does his level best to stay fah-resh.

Maybe it was better in its original Chinese.

"My name is Abbie. I am an orphan of America."

2008-02-20T00:03:00.005-05:00

Today marks the 38th anniversary of the day the Chicago Seven were sentenced. The OJ Simpson trial may have been the best legal soap opera of the 20th century, but the Chicago conspiracy trial of 1969-70 was the best legal theater. When I was in high school I read The Tales of Hoffman, a collection of highlights from trial transcripts, and I still remember how amazed I was at the attitudes everyone had - judge, lawyers, defendants, even the spectators constantly interrupting with shouts of "Right on!"

Here's one exchange from memory, between attorney William Kunstler and a government witness:

"When you said the defendants announced they were going to open up a whole can of worms on the city of Chicago, were any of them holding a can opener in their hand?"
"No, sir."
"Thank you. No further questions."

The trials weren't filmed, but that didn't stop moviemakers. There were dramatic performances of those transcripts done at the time, preserved on film and recently released on DVD.

There's also a documentary that mixes news footage with animation, going into limited release at the end of the month.

Looks cool, doesn't it? Well, get this - there's a movie version in preproduction, written by Aaron Sorkin, directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring Sasha "Borat" Cohen as Abbie Hoffman. Who in real life faced off against Judge Julius Hoffman. Who also faced off against Kunstler, who will be played by (wait for it) Philip Seymour Hoffman. To my mind, this is a great argument for living.

A little bit older, a little bit slower

2008-02-19T00:03:00.004-05:00

Today's my birthday.

In honor of my reaching 37 on 2/19, I'm posting two clips wholly unrelated to each other and barely related to me. One is of the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they talk about systems of government, strictly for :29 to :33.

The other is a cover of the Tom Waits song "2:19." Even though it relates to the time and not the date. Trust me, this is better than all the "February 19" entries.

Boxcutta style!

2008-02-16T00:19:00.004-05:00

I'm going off to Maine for a couple of days; my dad's turning 68 and my mom's getting ordained. (I'm betting that sentence hasn't been spoken too many times in this world's history.) So as per usual, I'll leave you with a long one that'll hopefully keep you busy for a while, maybe longer.

I discovered Kung Faux during a late-night/early-morning channel surf at a dying party. The host was passed out, and my friend Jarrett and I stumbled across this. Picture What's Up Tiger Lily dubbed by hip-hoppers and strained through a video game and you'll get the idea. It was like we'd found Aladdin's lamp in a junkshop - totally unexpected, and the more you watch what it's doing, the more excited you get. Here's a brief clip to give you a sense.

There are a few episodes on YouTube, but I'll start you off with the one that caught my eyes; if you like it, there's more where that came from. Go here, here, and here.

Throw dem bows!

Miaou!

2008-02-15T00:04:00.002-05:00

Over at the Agony Booth forum, the topic of great animated films was raised. One person posted a link to something I'd never heard of; I followed it, and I was knocked out.

Ladislas Starevich was a Russian stop-motion animator who got his start in the 1910s by taking dead beetles, removing their legs and mandibles, and reattaching them with wax, thus turning them into puppets. He would go on to work in France, where he created Le Roman de Renard (The Tale of the Fox). Here, a tomcat serenades his lady love.

Check out that last shot, where she sighs, and remind yourself this is stop-motion animation.

The Likin' King

2008-02-14T00:13:00.004-05:00

Last year I tried to devote a week of MeTube to Valentine's Day and found myself getting tired enough of it that the last clip was the one from Jackass Two when the guys are reading a valentine and wind up with a boxing glove to the head.

But the irrepressible hopeless/hopeful romantic in me can't be denied one more chance to celebrate it.

I'll do it with this video, which someone put together using parts of The Lion King and the XTC song "I'd Like That."

Digits getting down

2008-02-13T00:07:00.003-05:00

Some dancing writ small for you today. First we have some fingers dancing to Janet Jackson. And you know somebody out there is wishing they could have those boots.

These fingers have more basic, um, tipwear I guess is the word, but they also have much, much flashier moves.

Finally, a bit from the movie The Groove Tube. Believe it or not, this clip is not appropriate for work.

Cartoons for adults

2008-02-12T02:13:00.000-05:00

In the '60s and '70s, animated cartoons were on the wane. Theaters no longer showed the shorts before the feature presentation, and the TV cartoons were cost-cutting affairs that had no sense of art and less of story.

That's when Ralph Bakshi arrived, determined to show a new way. His cartoons were definitely not aimed at the kiddies, not just in their images, but their sensibilities as well. They could be crude, but highly personal as well. They were controversial, but highly praised too. They fired the imaginations of thousands, and their influence can't be overestimated.

His first film, Fritz the Cat, was the first X-rated animated film. There are a good few bits of it on YouTube, but I'm putting up this one, even though little happens in it, because I'm just such a sucker for the Bo Diddley beat.

This is the trailer for Heavy Traffic, a look at inner-city life that mixed live-action footage with animation. It's one of his best.

He would do a lot of work with rotoscoping, a process of animation traced over live-action for a realistic look, making this sweet little scene in American Pop possible.

And then there's his take on Lord of the Rings, but that's another story for another day.

Funniest fight scenes

2008-02-11T00:37:00.000-05:00

There's two kinds of funny. There's intentionally funny and there's unintentionally funny. Both have their proponents, but as long as they bring about laughter, they're both winners in my book. It's kind of like a family talent show where they have to give everyone prizes. (Or maybe I'm just tired and rambling.)

Anyway, there eleventy jillion fights on YouTube, so don't take my singling out these two as the funniest as gospel ("What! He didn't even mention King Arthur and the Black Knight?!"). They just float my boat o' jocularity, whether they mean to (as in this clip of Val Kilmer duking it out underwater in Top Secret)...

Or not, as in Don Niam and John Miller's pas de deux in Cui hua kuang mo, aka Undefeatable.

From the cutlery-moistening at the start to the bad-and-I-do-mean-BAD puns at the end, this has everything you need to make your jaw hit the floor.

Bullet. Tracer Bullet.

2008-02-10T00:10:00.001-05:00

Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic strip of the past quarter century, had occasions when Calvin would take on the character of Tracer Bullet, private eye. It gave artist Bill Watterson the opportunity to do great work with his art (lots of shadows and Dutch angles) and fine passes at doing hard-boiled narration.

Watterson, of course, isn't one to permit animation of his creations, for which he has been both blessed and cursed. (Confidentially, I bless.) But that's no reason for fans not to take a whack at reenacting the strips. Here are two flatteringly devotional videos which do just that.

Bleeping Muppets

2008-02-09T00:07:00.002-05:00

Question: What's cruder than a Muppet swearing?

Answer: A Muppet not swearing.

It ain't John Philip Sousa

2008-02-08T00:15:00.000-05:00

The University of Arizona marching band, known as the Pride of Arizona, does their marching-band thing with bands like Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, Talking Heads, and the Beatles. And they do it very well.

Here's a taste of their tribute to Led Zeppelin.

If you liked that, parts 2 and 3 can be found here and here.

Great Lost Albums 2

2008-02-07T00:01:00.001-05:00

One of the first mix tapes my friend Paul from NJ made for me included the song "Alimony" by an Australian band called the Hummingbirds. It was energetic jangle-pop with three-part male-female harmonies, which of course meant I had to run out and buy loveBUZZ, the cassette it was on. It was an excellent investment, in no small part because it wound up going out of print so fast. Years later, flipping through a used-CD rack in Portland, Maine, I found a copy of it and about leapt out of my skin, and not just because it only cost $3.99.

"Alimony" isn't on YouTube, but there were two other good songs available: the leadoff track, "Blush"...

And another single, "Word Gets Around."

Lousy videos, great songs. And their Greatest Hits CD is available as an import.

Rappin' Reagan

2008-02-06T00:08:00.000-05:00

Heh, heh. You know something? He DID say "Well" a lot! - Homer Simpson

Today's the anniversary of Ronald Reagan's birth, and it got me to remembering. When he was running the show, rap was starting to make its inroads into society, but it was still seen as more of a novelty than anything else. And we all know how much a good novelty brings out the novelty songwriters. This resulted in a veritable plethora of Reagan imitators stuttering rhymes to a heavy beat. Let's watch a few of 'em, what do you say?

Then there's this one. "See the Light / Feel the Heat" was the first rap song where the entire vocal was sampled.

There's a 12-inch version on YouTube as well, but I think you've heard enough, don't you?

He ain't misbehavin'

2008-02-05T00:06:00.001-05:00

Here's a fantastic story I came across on Wikipedia:

Fats Waller was in Chicago in 1926 and, upon leaving the building where he was performing, he was kidnapped by four men, who bundled him into a car and drove off. The car later pulled up outside the Hawthorne Inn, owned by infamous gangster Al Capone. Fats was ordered inside the building, where he found a party in full swing. With a gun against his back, Waller was pushed towards a piano, whereupon the gangsters demanded he start playing. A terrified Waller suddenly realized he was the "surprise guest" at Al Capone's birthday party. Soon comforted by the fact that he wouldn't die, Waller played, according to rumor, for three days. When he left the Hawthorne Inn, he was very drunk, extremely tired, and had earned thousands of dollars in cash given to him by Capone himself and by party-goers as tips.

What kind of pianist would be in such high demand? Why, the one who wrote "Ain't Misbehavin'"...

"Your Feet's Too Big" (as a size 14, I can relate)...

And "This Joint Is Jumpin'."

For all his playing, writing, and singing skills, what's going to stay with me longest is his mugging. Al Pacino wishes he could chew this much scenery.

Speaking as a New England Patriots fan

2008-02-04T00:03:00.000-05:00

PS - It's not all bad news - Will Ferrell's Bud Light ad was the best commercial I've seen in a long time.

Get your kicks in Times Square

2008-02-03T00:18:00.001-05:00

I was introduced to this clip by Mike Daisey's blog. A breakdancer gets an unexpected partner, and the result is rather painful.

This is one of those clips that's been around a long time and has inspired a lot of parodies. I quite liked this one, which turns it into a video game. Keep an eye on the strength meters.

Super Bill

2008-02-02T00:17:00.000-05:00

Today is, of course, Groundhog Day, and that's also, of course, the title of a movie starring Bill Murray. So of course, the obvious move would be to post a clip of Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Which of course is why I'm not going to.

Instead, I'll post a couple of Bill Murray / Super Bowl related clips, as the big game's tomorrow (and I'm scheduled to work, consarn it). Here he is last year, trying to score tickets to the big game from the head of CBS as Dave Letterman eggs him on.

But this is even cooler, as well as being 31 years older. Bill joins Christopher Guest in some humor with a few sports immortals.

The fattest and the tallest

2008-02-01T00:10:00.001-05:00

When I was a kid, I used to buy the new Guinness Book of World Records every year. This isn't the glossy hardcover with loads of color pictures they sell nowadays, but the mass market paperback crammed with black and white photos and all kinds of records. My favorite chapter was always the first, on human achievement - the woman who lived to the age of 114 ("She never wore glasses"), the guy who held his breath underwater for over 13 minutes ("He hyperventilated with oxygen for 30 minutes before his descent"), and the fat twins on their motorcycles.

For years the record for the fattest human was held by Robert Earl Hughes ("He was buried in a coffin the size of a piano case"). Nowadays he's been passed by about half a dozen others, but he was still a not-insignificant 1,069 pounds at his peak. Here he is a svelte 720. Watching this, I get the sense that he's really sweet.

And then there's Robert Wadlow, who reached 8 feet, 11.1 inches (and 491 pounds, if you're curious). My grandfather actually grew up in the same Illinois town and remembered him at the movie theater, draping his legs over two rows of chairs. It was remarkable for me to see this footage of him walking and hear him talking, in a voice that sounds slowed down to 16. (Note to kids: That's a reference to a "phonograph.")

The picture at 1:05 was in the Guiness book, accompanied by a caption that closed with the unforgettable bone-dry aside, "Robert is the one wearing glasses."

Have a laugh with Harrison

2008-01-31T00:01:00.001-05:00

Harrison Ford's not generally thought of as the warm and cuddly sort, which Conan O'Brien asked him about...

In fact, it seems to me he's got a pretty decent sense of humor. Particularly seeing as how he agreed to take part in this. (The embedded link isn't working - try this one.)

Bonus! I refuse to wait ten and a half months to show this clip of Darth Vader getting his Christmas wish.

Jealous Guy Times Two

2008-01-30T00:02:00.000-05:00

John Lennon's song "Jealous Guy," from his Imagine album, is one of his most popular solo songs, even going top 40 in 1988 during the "Oh no he di-int, Albert Goldman!" days. While I liked it well enough, I always thought it could have been done better. Come to find out, I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Roxy Music did a cover as a tribute to Lennon shortly after his death, going to number 1 in the UK (their only #1). As with so much of later Roxy Music, there's a smooth sophistication that works well, and Bryan Ferry is able to look and sound appropriately hangdog.

What I never realized was that the song could use a little crunch. Thank God Lou Reed found the need and filled it. This is from October 2001, in a John's birthday/9/11 tribute, and considering how few covers Lou's done, it's great to see him take a near-standard and make it all his own.

It's the little things

2008-01-29T00:01:00.000-05:00

Lev Yilmaz is a cartoonist who created the series "Tales of Mere Existence," which talks about the little things in life that don't get talked about. He's got a whole channel's worth of stuff on YouTube that's all worth watching.

But this is the one that stays with me. It's called "I'm not going to think about her," and the way it dwells on the individual details that everyone knows even though they're specific to one person. As Holden Caulfield would say, it kills me.

Culturrific

2008-01-28T00:05:00.002-05:00

I went scouting for birthdays today and found that Mikhail Baryshnikov is celebrating number 60. I lit up; I just knew there would be good stuff of Misha kicking around YouTube. And boy, was I right.

In 1969, a good five years before he defected, he danced a little Don Quixote.

Look at this clip from him in Giselle in 1977. The fluidity, the air he catches - wow.

Finally, his duet in 1985's White Nights with Gregory Hines. I recommend turning the volume off so you can enjoy this without listening to warmed-over "Danger Zone" type music.

Blind, but oh, what vision

2008-01-27T00:04:00.001-05:00

You know what's fun? There are a ton of Jose Feliciano clips on YouTube, footage of him playing over five decades, and he sounds just as fantastic in the recent clips as he does in the old ones.

I tend to find the old ones more fascinating, though, so here he is doing a couple of duets. First, his performance of "Maria Christina" with Dusty Springfield in 1967.

And as if that wasn't enough of a throwback, watch him and Bing Crosby get together a year later to perform "Mama Don't Allow." And listen to him turn the guitar into any instrument he wants - including drums!

The ugly side of show biz

2008-01-26T00:03:00.001-05:00

This is the most offensive clip I've ever posted. And I posted "You'll Come One Day."

Howard Stern had Gilbert Gottfried on as a guest one day, and asked him if he'd heard Ed McMahon's new audio book. He then played a number of clips of Ed reading aloud. The clips were, how you say, tampered with, and made Ed sound... well, "sick" isn't a bad way to describe it. Gilbert proves to be a great audience - his laughter is a perfect seasoning.

I'm going to say it again. This is thoroughly offensive, with language that would shatter nuns at twenty paces. Don't play near the kids. I personally use headphones. And my stomach hurts from laughing.

Norm makes talk show hosts laugh hard

2008-01-25T00:04:00.002-05:00

Some people think Norm Macdonald is a riot. Some don't. I do. So do late night talk show hosts. That mix of his who-cares delivery and his sacred-cows-make-the-best-burgers approach are pretty much comedy gold.

Here he is interrupting Conan O'Brien's somewhat bland interview of Courtney Thorne-Smith with some slams on Carrot Top that has Conan whirling in his chair.

Here he is telling a "Scrabble at a bed & breakfast" story to David Letterman.

Here's the best one. Two days after crocodile hunter Steve Irwin died, and between mocking Joe Camel and Canadian foreign minister Peter McKay, Macdonald says some lines that have Jon Stewart audibly cringing.

Boom... ba ba boom... ba ba boom...

2008-01-24T00:11:00.000-05:00

Aside from having the best opening bass line of any TV theme song in history, Barney Miller (season 2 now available on DVD) was hailed as being one of the most accurate police shows by actual policemen. It focused less on the action and crimesolving and more on the squad room tedium. And oh, it was so well written. I guarantee there are people who remember where they were the first time they heard an accidentally stoned Yemana say, "What do you say we guys go down to the beach, and shoot some clams?"

Okay, that might work better in context. But this bit stands up okay on its own.

And here's a great outtake from the final night of shooting the third season. Long hours and lack of sleep make everyone pretty giddy, and who knows when and how a rubber chicken can come in handy?

This wasn't supposed to happen

2008-01-23T00:12:00.002-05:00

Count me among the many who were deeply troubled to hear of Heath Ledger's passing. This was someone who was truly emerging as, not a star, but an actor, a route that always gets more respect from me. I thought his work as a cowboy who couldn't express himself with words in Brokeback Mountain was an incredible feat, and the clips I've seen of his performance as the Joker in The Dark Knight gave me reason to look forward to this coming July.

Rather than show a clip of him from either of those two movies, though, I'm going to show him in 10 Things I Hate About You. It's not a Dramatic Achievement by any means, but at least it'll leave you with a smile on your face.

Bud & Shelly, sittin' in a tree

2008-01-22T00:10:00.000-05:00

I think another Fitzgerald-related entry is in order today.

"Bernice Bobs Her Hair" was published by the Saturday Evening Post in 1920, when Fitzgerald was just twenty-three. It's about an ugly duckling who learns to be socially confident, to the point that her cousin, who had schooled her in the ways of social success, grows jealous and cuts her down. But revenge is had. It's a good story, and has a sentence that ends "...not!" some seventy-odd years before "Wayne's World."

In 1976 it was made into a TV movie, with Shelly Duvall as the ugly duckling and But Cort as the cousin's suitor who finds himself more and more taken with Bernice. The two of them had worked before, in Brewster McCloud; here, they're less odd eggs and really quite charming together.

Kinda weird to see Harold with curls, isn't it?

The Unknown Comic

2008-01-21T00:17:00.000-05:00

Murray Langston made a career out of telling rapid-fire bad jokes behind the cover of a brown paper bag. His greatest fame came from his frequent appearances on The Gong Show, where he would riff for a minute and then insult host Chuck Barris. To wit...

The beauty of the act is, he never looked older as the years passed. And the jokes are, to me, still just as inexplicably funny as can be. Here he is in the '90s.

If you've got the time, read this interview with Langston. His story about laughing at a furious Frank Sinatra is fantastic.

Want you to know

2008-01-20T00:50:00.000-05:00

I'm just back from a daylong trip to New York City. There's a friend of mine there who's quite special to me. For reasons way too extensive to chronicle here, we can only be good friends. So I wanted to send this video out to her and then go to bed and get some sleep.

This is Freelance Hellraiser's "Want You To Know." Send it to the one you love today.

Lynch and Obsession

2008-01-19T00:39:00.001-05:00

The previous post shows highlights of David Lynch's directing career; what gets me about them is how I just can't look away. Clients should be salivating over the chance to work with him.

In 1988, post-Blue Velvet and pre-Twin Peaks, he did some work with Calvin Klein's Obsession fragrance that just blows me out of the water.

The premise: four ads, with four different authors' words read over them. Sadly, I can't find the Flaubert ad, but I'm not complaining at being stuck with D.H. Lawrence...

...Ernest Hemingway...

...and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Wow, huh?

Brought to you by David Lynch

2008-01-19T00:19:00.000-05:00

A long time ago, I began a series of celebrities-and-commercials entries with one by David Lynch. I haven't done any in a while, but Lynch has fortunately kept up the good work.

A lot of good work.

See, he's directed way more commercials than I ever would have guessed. The products range from perfume...

...to cars...

...to PlayStation...

...to pregnancy tests...

...to a damn fine cup of coffee with Agent Cooper.

There's more, but they deserve their own posting...

Siamese elephants

2008-01-18T00:08:00.001-05:00

This may be the most famous outtake in television history. As a kid, I saw an edited version on bloopers programs at least three times.

Tim Conway cracks up Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, and Penis van Lesbian by going off script and telling a couple of shaggy elephant jokes. Vicki winds up getting the last and biggest laugh. Enjoy.

I shoulda yelled "Two!"

2008-01-17T00:04:00.000-05:00

America hasn't cornered the market on newscasters cracking up (evidence to the contrary): here's an Australian news team that can't keep a straight face at the shenanigans of a kangaroo on a golf course.

Obvious but true dept.: The guy who dubbed in the sound effects deserves a raise.

Goddamn songs

2008-01-16T00:18:00.000-05:00

God bless. God damn.
- James Thurber's final words

Today there are two collections by the group the Eels being released, one a best-of, the other a B-sides & rarities. Both of them have versions of "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues" on it. Call me silly and slap me hard, but I think it's the best song to prominently feature the word "goddamn" in music history, and that includes "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles. In a free society this would have been number one for three weeks on the charts.

Here's a *cough* live version of it from British TV.

That's not to say there aren't other good songs that give the word star billing, sung from artists ranging from Nina Simone to Joey Ramone. One that I like a lot is Jens Lenkman's "Black Cab." (Of course, that opening sample comes from the Left Banke's "I've Got Something On My Mind.")

Finally, here are the primal, impossibly young Replacements doing "God Damn Job," before Paul Westerberg was discovered to be a sensitive male.

MST3-Que el diablo?

2008-01-15T00:14:00.000-05:00

There just hasn't been enough Mystery Science Theater 3000 on this blog, which is of course a damn shame. So here are a few minutes that are pretty funny - not so much for what the 'bots say and do, but because the movie their mocking just takes a left turn straight to What the Hellville.

First, the moment from Godzilla vs. Megalon that was immortalized in the opening credits for years.

Last, ten more similarly crazy-ass moments from the show - two from the between-movie sketches, eight from the movies themselves. All set to a little Allman Brothers.

For the uninitiated, the abbreviation in number 8 is short for "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies."

Thunderbirds are go!

2008-01-14T00:21:00.001-05:00

Thunderbirds was a British TV show in the mid-sixties that's become a cult favorite over here. What made it notable were its excellent special effects and miniatures work, its fantastic theme song, and its being filmed in Supermarionation. Yes, the actors were puppets on strings. Yes, this is where Team America: World Police found its inspiration.

And like all great cult favorites, it got wrapped up in a Tarantino tribute by some enterprising youngster out there.

The Man That Got Away Times Two

2008-01-13T00:15:00.000-05:00

Anyone who's not floored by Judy Garland's rendition of "The Man That Got Away" in the movie A Star is Born has lost their soul, and I feel sorry for them.

I wanted to feature Jeff Buckley's version in this twofer, but it's not on YouTube, so I went scouting for a few others. This was the one that impressed me the most - it just happens to be done by a Judy impersonator named Jim Bailey. I think it holds a single candle to the original, which of course is its intent.

Short Attention Span Theatre 6

2008-01-12T00:18:00.000-05:00

Yes! It's time once again for Short Attention Span Theatre, where I keep the quick clips coming so fast you simply don't have time to turn away!

Today, in under a minute, for your viewing pleasure, we have a possible origin of a South Park catchphrase on MST3K...

...a bike accident, viewed by an unmoved cameraman...

...Elvis picking his nose...

...Corky taking a dart to the head, accompanied by Stevie Wonder...

...a slap...

...a classical Mr. T...

...Captain Jack-off Sparrow...

...and Peter Pansexual.

As always, refresh the browser if you lose the sound.

Jeff... ummmJEFF... Gooooldblum

2008-01-11T00:20:00.002-05:00

With his gawky height, not-quite-empty eyes, and apparently random thought process, Jeff Goldblum has been one of the more fascinating Hollywoodians to watch for the past quarter century. The guy's got all kinds of presence, but he doesn't smolder so much as puzzle. Talking with him must be like driving past a setting where you know there'll be an accident in a few moments, but you don't know what kind of accident it'll be.

Here are a couple of clips from an interview with Conan O'Brien, whose reactions are no different from the rest of America's (except maybe funnier).

It's very easy to manipulate clips like this, you realize.

Finally, here's six seconds of him scatting.

Tomorrow: more similarly brief clips - and you know what that means!

The Disney Vault

2008-01-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

I was in Best Buy today and saw a bunch of videos under a threatening sign. "These movies will be going into the Disney Vault after January 31," it said.

Disney claims that by keeping these movies from being perenially available, it keeps the market under control and keeps things fresh for kids. The fact that it makes them big collector's items is just a happy accident. Yeah surrrrre.

Robert Smigel, creator of SNL's "TV's Funhouse," had a bull's-eye take on this. Not only does it mock the whole vault process, it also mocks the horrid sequels to classic movies. In this case, that would be Bambi.

MeTube gets graphic

2008-01-09T00:07:00.001-05:00

One of my hidden pleasures - so hidden I'm barely aware of it myself - is graphic design. I can't draw to save my life, but I'm very handy at making collages. I've got thousands of novels and short story collections, but one of my all time faves is Alan Fletcher's The Art of Looking Sideways. If you want to know what the sixties were about, you could do a lot worse than look at the covers George Lois designed for Esquire. So here are some graphic works I'm enamored of at this very moment.

First, there's this campaign for the most recent Douglas Coupland book, The Gum Thief. I'm on the fence about my feelings toward Coupland as a writer, but these three clips make me want to read the book desperately.

Now, you know how there was a documentary about the Helvetica font last year?

Well, it's not the movie font of choice - that would be Trajan.

May I suggest more usage of the Burn Out font?

Yoohoo, breakeroo!

2008-01-08T00:29:00.002-05:00

When I was in second grade, my dad sent away for and received a two-record set called Road Music. It had a couple dozen country songs about 18-wheelers and the men who drive them. There were some pretty good songs on there, including "Six Days on the Road" by Dave Dudley and "Phantom 309" by Red Sovine, later covered by Tom Waits.

My favorite, thought, was "CB Savage" by Rod Hart. He did it in a voice that, to an seven year old, was about the funniest thing ever. So much so that I made plans to take the album to show and tell. My folks wouldn't permit it. No amount of tears could change their mind. But I couldn't get them to explain why.

Looking back now, it's fairly evident. For one, there's the sturdy lass on the cover, who my brother later admitted brought him into puberty. For the other, I now understand that silly voice in "CB Savage" a lot better than I once did.

Listen for yourself and see how naive a second grader can be.

Good news - I can laugh again

2008-01-07T00:06:00.000-05:00

Well, we had ourselves a good little memorial for Doug, and a lot of the stories we remembered ended with everyone laughing. It's good to do that and mean it.

To celebrate, I think I'll put up two of my favorite commercials from Saturday Night Live. They seem to be a little more lax about taking these clips down, so hopefully you can see these for a while.

First is the parody of the '70s ad that showed a diamond cutter doing his work in the back of a moving car.

Then there's this one. You have got to give it up for Stevie Wonder to agree to do this sketch (and yes, that is Stevie Wonder and not Eddie Murphy doing Stevie Wonder).

Music for mourning

2008-01-04T00:20:00.001-05:00

I'm going to be in Ithaca this weekend to celebrate my friend Doug's life, so you'll have to bear without me for a couple of days.

I've been listening to a lot of music to get me through (here's a good piece about those who do), works ranging from Mozart's "Lacrimosa" to Johnny Cash's "You'll Never Walk Alone."

It helps.

I asked my fellow posters at The Agony Booth what they would recommend and got a lot of thoughtful responses. My favorites so far have been Stevie Nicks's "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For You"...

Willie Nelson's "Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain" (wonderful solo in this)...

And George Harrison's "All Things Must Pass."

I put up Ween's cover because another friend recommended their song "Fancy Pants," claiming you couldn't not smile when you heard it. He may in fact be right.

See you in a couple days...

Doug

2008-01-03T00:16:00.000-05:00

Today I learned that my friend Doug Jones had been killed in a Los Angeles house fire the day after Christmas. He was smoking in bed. Eleven other residents were displaced, but his was the only death.

Doug was a good two decades older than I, but that was never an obstacle; he loved that I knew so much about books and old movies, and I loved listening to him talk about writing - he'd been nominated for a Pulitzer back in his reporting days.

He's the first good friend I've ever had die.

My first thought was to post a clip of someone saying Kaddish, and I found this.

But seeing as how Doug was Irish Catholic, that really didn't make much sense. So I decided to post the song that I want played at my funeral: "I'll Be On My Way" by the Saw Doctors. It's a celebratory song, and I think that's important - like they say in Brian's Song, it's not how he died that I'll remember, but rather, how he lived.

Johnny Loves Jazz

2008-01-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

My friend Jarrett introduced me to Johnny Hartman's music a few years ago, playing me the album he recorded with John Coltrane. "Lush Life" did the job, and now I'm a fan for life. Well, not so much a fan as someone who can only stand back and shake his head in wonder.

Here he is performing "It Never Entered My Mind." As an added bonus, Sammy Davis introduces him. As a further added bonus, Sammy plays a nifty hand of vibes to start things off.

Lounging with Johnny Fever

2008-01-01T00:04:00.001-05:00

There used to be a guy who'd post entire episodes of WKRP in Cincinnati on YouTube. Viacom would complain, and YouTube would shut down his channel, and he'd repost them under a different name, and I'd renew the links I'd made. Sadly, I think he's given up, as it's been a long time since I've seen a KRP show.

So as a thanks and a say hello / wave goodbye kind of thing, I'm posting the opening theme as performed by Richard Cheese.

Welcome to 2008, everybuggy.

Tomorrow Is a Long Time Times Two

2007-12-31T00:07:00.001-05:00

"Elvis recorded a song of mine," Bob Dylan once said. "That's the one recording I treasure most."

The song Dylan's referring to is "Tomorrow Is a Long Time." He never recorded a studio version; it was released on his second greatest hits album from a concert he'd given eight years earlier. Here it is, scoring pictures of him with Suze Rotolo, best known as the girl clinging to him on the Freewheelin' Bob Dylan album cover.

Elvis's version was buried on the Spinout soundtrack, despite not being in the movie. He gives it a swampy Southern acoustic feel and That Voice floats above it, eerie and beautiful all at once.

Thought that'd be a nice way to close out 2007. PS - Happy birthday, John!

My finger's off the pulse

2007-12-30T00:36:00.002-05:00

There are a whole bunch of "Best Viral Videos 2007" articles on the web as the year comes to a close. And really, two years ago, who would've guessed there'd be such a category, and with so many entries to choose from?

I tended to steer clear of posting them at their time of fame because I figured they were common enough knowledge that people would've already gotten their fill, so "Leave Britney Alone," the Filipino Thriller, the Dramatic Chipmunk/Prairie Dog/Gerbil, Miss South Carolina, and many others never made their MeTube debut.

But I can't help finding a whole bunch of world-famous clips that I'd never heard of. It's just a touch embarrassing, really. So I thought I'd take a flying leap onto the old bandwagon and show you some of the world's longtime favorites that I'm only just now learning about. Maybe they'll be new for you too.

There's the Zombie Kid...

Lily Allen's third nipple...

The Potter Puppet Pals...

Heidi Klum's great knockers...

"Chocolate Rain"...

And a mobile phone salesman singing opera.

Once again, the Japanese rule

2007-12-29T00:04:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Barstool Sports for introducing me to this clip. It's a ten-year-old Japanese girl rendering the entire band of Kansas forever obsolete with this cover of "Carry On My Wayward Son."

I've seen ten-year-olds at talent shows who can't handle "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Of course, they didn't have keyboards this awesome, either.

Like a Rolling Lorax

2007-12-28T00:04:00.001-05:00

Hey again!

One of the highlights of my Decembers comes my way from my friend Paul in New Jersey. Every year I send him a mix CD for Chanukah and he sends me one for Christmas. This year's entry was of the usual high quality and introduced me to a chunk of pop subculture I'd missed out on completely.

A Houston resident named Kevin Ryan recorded seven songs with the words of Dr. Seuss with music and attitude similar to that of Bob Dylan. He posted them on a website, www.dylanhearsawho.com. Just as it was getting attention, Seuss lawyers sent a cease-and-desist letter to Ryan, and he took the site down. But you know how hard it is to get toothpaste back in the tube. Particularly if it's brilliant toothpaste.

Here's the song Paul sent me, of "Green Eggs and Ham."

And here's "The Zax."

DC meets S.C.

2007-12-24T00:17:00.000-05:00

Today I'm off to celebrate with la familia, and I'll be away for a few days. But I wanted to leave a winner behind.

ItsJustSomeRandomGuy, who I've noted for his genius, has a surprisingly moving story of the time that Saint Nicholas paid a visit to stately Wayne Manor.

I'll be back on Friday. Until then, best of the season to all.

Christmas Catch-All

2007-12-23T00:19:00.001-05:00

One of the great things about doing this all these Christmas posts is that there's so many good ones. Frankly, I should have started this a lot earlier. As it is, I'm putting up a whole bunch here with no common theme save 12/25.

Here's Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa, the best Christmas movie of the century so far.

Here's the stop-motion classic Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town - made freshhhhhh.

Here are some bad guys feeling the spirit of the season.

And here's Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.

Cool Yule

2007-12-22T00:30:00.001-05:00

There are any number of cool rock musicians who have cool Christmas songs. I'm just going to post a few of my favorites here. You'll note that neither Lennon nor McCartney is represented. That's not an accident.

We'll start with the King, by request - here's "Blue Christmas."

The Ramones kicked out the jams with "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)."

Billy Squier leads perhaps the most joyous rockin' Christmas song, "Christmas is a Time to Say I Love You." I make no apologies for loving this.

The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl combined to immortalize "Fairytale of New York." Check out the Wikipedia entry - it's fascinating stuff.

Finally, the greatest (and not coincidentally the most depressing) of them all, Tom Waits's "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis," with a few bars of "Silent Night" thrown in for good measure.

NOW how much would you pay?

2007-12-21T00:10:00.000-05:00

The first really good Christmas gift I ever got for somebody was in the late '70s, when I got my dad the Auto-Cup from Ronco, which guaranteed no more spilling hot coffee on the long drive. (In the days before cupholders, a legit concern.)

Ronco, named for its founder Ron Popeil, was the company for gadgets in the '70s and '80s. Their ads brought the phrases "It slices, it dices," "set it and forget it," and "but wait - there's more!" to the collective conscious. And the zesty version of "Deck the Halls" that closed the ads was a great indicator that Christmas was close at hand.

Here are a few of their greatest hits: The glass froster...

...the smokeless ashtray...

...and the semilegendary Mr. Microphone.

Give me a D! Give me an Arkness!

2007-12-20T00:24:00.000-05:00

The Darkness, who brought metal and falsettos back to our consciousness with "I Believe In A Thing Called Love," may not have lasted long (drugs are bad, kids), but before the implostion, they managed to pen a Christmas classic, "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)."

I particularly like the way the singer slips as he goes out the door. And I love the quote I heard, that they were thrilled they found a way to get the word "ringpiece" played on the radio. You can't fault any band with an evident sense of humor.

When I say Christmas, scream real loud!

2007-12-19T00:05:00.000-05:00

Pee Wee Herman had a Christmas special, and it's available in 9-minute chunks on YouTube. Don't know that everyone's got time for that at the moment, though, so I'll just shoot you the opening credits (and honestly, once you see these, how could you not want to watch the rest?)...

...and Grace Jones singing a little bit of "The Little Drummer Boy."

And you just know he celebrated Christmas at the stroke of midnight. Heh.

Once Is Not Enough

2007-12-18T00:02:00.003-05:00

One last un-Christmassy entry that I've been waiting to post for months...

Today's the day that Once is released on DVD. This is a film about a busking musician in Dublin, and the Czech girl he meets, and the way they inspire each other, musically and otherwise. It's my favorite movie of the year, and I've seen No Country for Old Men.

This is the scene where they perform in the studio for the first time, and the hired-hand producer slowly realizes he's got something good here.

Glen Hansard, the guitarist, is a huge Van Morrison fan as well. So here are a couple covers he does: one of "Into the Mystic"...

...and a very intense version of "Astral Weeks."

I can't say enough good things about this movie, so I'll keep this simple. If you've not seen it yet, do.

Non-Christmas Movie Movies

2007-12-17T00:00:00.002-05:00

Every December I watch a copy of The Ref; this year was the first time I had my own copy and didn't need to rent it. What kept me? It's a great film that I wouldn't really call a Christmas film - it just happens to take place around Christmastime.

Denis Leary is a burglar who takes Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey hostage, and their constant bickering is enough to drive him up the wall. Davis & Spacey do some excellent work, and while, as Leonard Maltin says, it's a meatier movie than you might expect, there are some great laughs and semi-silly scenes as well. Here, for instance, Spacey finally takes on his guilt-tripping mother - and wins.

Love Actually is considered more a romantic comedy than a Christmas movie, as there are six to eight romantic comedies crammed into it. The one where a guy loves his best friend's wife is resolved this way.

Sappy? Maybe. But the reason they make syrup out of sap is because it's oh so sweet.

PS - R.I.P. Dan Fogelberg.

Please, God, stop the pain!

2007-12-16T00:13:00.000-05:00

As anyone who's every attended an elementary school concert knows, there are ways that songs can be butchered which are beyond our ken. I'll give a couple of examples here.

Jimmy Kimmel and Mike Tyson duetting "Winter Wonderland" is one of those where you stare in total incomprehension. I suspect they picked this particular song so we could here Mike lisp his way through the "snow is glistenin'" line. The Casio is the only possible background music for this.

"O Holy Night" is one of my favorite Christmas songs, but it's a challenging one to sing. This guy accepts the challenge and fails spectacularly. It starts off seeming like just your basic bad cover, but give it time.